I wish I was Elastigirl

Oh to be a mere wafer thin slice of the  woman that’s Helen Parr!

Helen is sexy – without apparently knowing it – and super flexible. Nothing sets her off better than her Edna Mode-designed super suit that can stand up to extreme heat or cold, yet it breathes like Egyptian cotton. A suit designed to stretch as far as she can and still retain its shape.

Even as the stay-at-home wife of Mr. Incredible, she’s everything I’m not; namely, neat, dedicatedly domestic, patient, supportive and a size zero.

The thing I most envy is her st-r-e-t-ch ability. How useful to have arms to reach round corners to grab apart the squabbling offspring in another room. I can imagine myself being able to exert a mild ‘clip round the ear’ to each of my boys without having to leave the comfort of my chair. Such a very practical super power for any mum,  for you can bet that the ruckus normally starts just when you’re trying to talk on the phone or controlling something boiling over on the stove.

Helen can stretch any part of her body up to 100 ft (30 m) and can be 1 mm thin. She can also reshape her body in a variety of ways. This is definitely weird and freakish  – turning her arms into swings and slingshots – and the Operations Kronos Database assigned her a threat rating of 6.2. She is an experienced jet pilot, plus her sharp wit and superb espionage skills make her an excellent tactician and leader.

I’m impressed by Helen’s CV as a ‘Super’,  however I’d personally rather  leave the ‘saving the world from evil or deluded tyrants’ stuff to others. No, what gets me about Helen is her ability to save her children from mortal dangers. She turns herself instantly  into parachute, as she and her children are blown from an exploding plane, and then into a rubber boat as they land perilously into the ocean. What mother wouldn’t wish for freakish elasticity to be able to save her children from any peril, big or small? Although, knowing mine, they would probably demand that I let them use my body for bungee jumping off cliffs just for kicks!

Helen is truly Mrs. Incredible and I’m  ‘It’s-not-my-best-but-it-will-have-to-do’ Mrs.F. on the Home Front.

Poor old Mr. F 😦

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2 thoughts on “I wish I was Elastigirl

  1. Your kids may well think that you are more like Elastigirl than you do. For mine, the fact that I love them enough to even *consider* trying to be a parachute is sufficient. I know exactly how you feel, and am incredibly grateful for my sons and their unstinting love. You do more miraculous things than you realize – I am sure of it!

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